Thursday, March 10, 2005

Self Affirmation Day

So, the only thing I’ve done since getting home from work at five are play on the computer and pick up poop. Why does my damn dog shit in my closet? Her sister doesn’t do it. She goes out more than any other dog I’ve ever known. Seriously. They go out more than 6 times a day most days. 3 of those are usually leash walks. Last night Bella pooped on my black leather, knee high boots.

I am a failure as a pet owner. I cannot teach my dog to shit outside. She’s learned to pee outside. She’s learned to sit. And stay. And give me a high five. Shit, she’ll even twirl around in a circle on two legs like a fucking ballerina doll for a piece of bacon. But she won’t stop shitting in my closet.

I’ve been playing on the computer for an hour and a half. I just looked down to the clock and realized that I’ve missed half of Survivor. Damn it. Ah well, television rots the brain, anyhow. And I like getting stuck on the computer on Thursday nights recently. Thursday is Self Portrait Day. If you haven’t checked it out yet, you should. It’s really fun to have 15 new blogs to pursue each week without having to dig through all the blog muck out there to find them. I found an amazing photographer this week on selfportraitday. I’ve submitted twice now and haven’t gotten on. I’m probably not cool enough. That’s okay. I understand. No, really, I do understand. I’m not bitter at all. Not in the least bit. I must just SUCK. But that’s okay because (following a trend I’ve seen in ALL the best blogs): I’m hereby declaring Thursdays as Self-Affirmation Day!

Let’s begin, shall we? I'll go first.

I’m funny and I am actually pretty in an awkward, nerdy, sort of way. People like me, and I’m good at my job.

Now your turn. Say something nice about yourself. Nobody will know you did it and it feels really good.

I don’t know about you but I walk around saying shitty stuff about myself all the time. And when I’m not actually saying it, I’m listening to that pesky little voice that sounds an awful lot like my mother say it. I’m tired of that shit. I don’t want to do it anymore. There’s only one problem. I feel guilty when I say good stuff about myself. I think the only way to get past pointless guilt over things that should feel good (sex, eating, accepting a compliment, relaxing) is to just do them more and more and more. Get used to the way it feels.

“That sounds nice,” the self-loathing monster in me says. “But I think I’m so permanently screwed up that I might have to start saying nice things about myself by whispering them when I’m home alone in the house and my neighbors are all at work, hiding under a pile of dirty laundy and dog shit in a dark closet." I’m serious. It’s that bad.

So that’s why Thursday is hereby declared as Self Affirmation Day.


Blogger Darrin said...

You are funny! Love your blog and your sense of humor.

9:03 AM  
Blogger the Tattooed Social Worker said...

Thanks, darrin. That is very sweet of you.


The rules of Self-Affirmation Day are:

1. Say someting nice about YOURSELF.

2. Well, that's the only rule.


5:33 PM  
Blogger janusville said...

yeah, well I'm funny, too, and a good Dad. and a good husband, to boot. I'll have to check out that self portrait blog when I have time. (That's a laugh!- Time, yeah right)

7:23 AM  

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