Saturday, February 19, 2005

Pieces of Penny

Penny had surgery on Monday. Brain Surgery. Brain. Surgery. She’s home already. Actually she came home on Wednesday. Can you believe that? Home in three days after they fucked around with her brain? With. Her. Brain. Insane, I tell you, insane.

Okay. So I’m being a little melodramatic. To be fair, it’s not like they sawed her skull in half or anything. They went in through her nose. Her poor, red, ouchy nose. They pulled out a tumor. Isn’t that funny? They pulled a tumor out from her nose just like a booger. It was a teeny, tiny tumor that lived on her pituitary gland. Let’s call him Ralph. Ralph the booger/tumor is history. I, for one, am glad. I never liked the slimy little fucker anyway. Good Riddance, Ralph.

So now I’m stuck in the house playing nurse to Penny. Not that I really mind. I’m kind of making a game out of it. I’ve never had to be the only responsible one before. I never actually realized how much work there is to do in the house. Okay, go ahead, call me spoiled. I deserve it. But really it’s kind of becoming an obsession for me to do it all right, you know.

Other than playing doctor, we are also getting a chance to watch lots of movies. We watched Pieces of April and But I’m a Cheerleader last night. Pieces of April made us both cry. But I’m a Cheerleader is just funny and sweet. Pieces of April was hard for Penny to watch because its dysfunctional family is rather like her own.

This morning Penny wore herself out trying to convince me that we should spend the rest of her recoup time making a fancy-ass quilt she saw in a magazine advertisement while she was pissing even though:
A. we don’t have the money to buy the supplies,
B. she hasn’t sewed anything since the “Hammer Pants” she made in 7th grade home-ec class,
C. I haven’t taken my sewing machine out of the closet in a year, and
D. Neither of us has any idea how to quilt.

Penny’s pretty persistent with her powers of persuasion. Regardless of the above, perfectly logical argument for not trekking with her to the fabric store with credit card in hand, she managed to convince me. So I took the dogs out for a pee in anticipation of actually leaving the house.

When I got back she was asleep.

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